If you’re writing your own vows, it can be a really special moment of declaring your love for your lifelong partner in front of all your family and friends. While you should absolutely write from the heart, sometimes when you sit down to write some of the most important words of your wedding, your mind can go blank! Take a breath! We have some tips on how to get the right words flowing to help you write your very best personal vows. Good luck!
Start them at least 1 month in advance
Sure, in school you insisted you worked “well under pressure” and could totally get that 10 page essay done “the night before,” but this is a different kind of situation! You want to give yourself plenty of time to find the right words, plus with a month or more, you can take time to step away when you draw a blank, or be inspired by things leading up to the big day you may want to add. In other words, give yourself PLENTY of time!
Write your vows separately from your partner
While you may be tempted to write your vows with your soon-to-be-spouse as a sweet bonding moment, this should be a personal reflection. Write your vows alone to avoid influencing each other to make the moment you read them even more special and emotional.
Stuck? Consider these questions
How did you fall in love? What is the quality you most admire about your partner? What are your hopes for your future together? What are your favorite things about your partner? Side note: while that speech from When Harry Met Sally is sweet and swoon worthy, maybe avoid copying good old Harry, and maybe avoid just listing off things you like about your partner. Remember, make it personal, make it yours!
Look at your favorite (or your partner’s favorite) poems or literature for inspiration
While you should probably avoid using one piece of work for your entire vows, putting your favorite quote or line in that really resonates or inspires you is totally acceptable!
Remember why you are here; what are you saying “I do” to?
Think about what you’re saying yes to; what promises are you making your partner? Don’t forget you can always go traditional and add in the classic promises (till death do us part sort of thing)!
You don’t have to bring the laughs
You may be really tempted to try to crack a few jokes or try to make your audience laugh. If it doesn’t come naturally, don’t worry about it! This is a moment between you and your partner, so if there’s something funny you can easily add that’s great! If not, don’t worry about it! Sometimes you may add a private joke between you and your partner, which is fine, too! This is your moment, keep it natural!
Don’t forget to mention the rings!
Make sure there’s a point where you mention to the rings as a heads-up that it’s time to bring them into the mix.
Make sure you practice before the big day! You don’t have to memorize it, but make sure you know it well enough that you don’t get too flustered while reading it. Maybe read it to someone to make sure it sounds good and flows, too.
No matter what, as cheesy as it sounds, write from the heart and remember why you’re choosing this person to enjoy the rest of your life with!