Your wedding day is a special day you want to share with everyone. Literally everyone though? While it can be kind of satisfying to make sure your exes know you’re now taken, it’s different when you actually invite them to your wedding day. Here are some things to consider, if you’re actually considering inviting a past flame.
Are you good friends?
Are you still good friends with this person? If you still regularly talk with this person, if your partner knows them and has even spent time with them, and everyone is on good terms, this is probably a friend you want to, and should, invite. If you haven’t spoken since you broke up, or you speak inconsistently, it’s probably not a must.
When did you date?
If it was a Jr. High or High School relationship that you can look back on and laugh about, it’s probably ok to invite them. In other words, the flame is gone for sure, and the relationship was immature and far in the past.
Is everyone cool with it?
Not just like a “whatever, I don’t care” passive-aggressive “cool with it,” but honestly, ask your partner if they would feel ok with your ex attending the wedding. Even if they are your BFF now, if your partner isn’t comfortable, don’t invite them. It’s better to have a drama-free day celebrating the person you are actually ending up with. Talk it over with your partner no matter what – this should be the most important consideration!
Is he/she parent to your children?
If you share children with your ex, you may consider inviting them so they can be with the kids during the ceremony/reception. This could be really beneficial – one less thing to worry about! But if you are not on good terms, you may want to consider a different option.
How will they act?
If you can imagine this ex coming to your wedding and acting perfectly behaved and have no worries, perfect. But if you try to imagine them there and you worry about what they may say, do, or how they will act, that should be a huge warning sign.
Who will they bring?
It would be a bit rude to invite your ex to your wedding without allowing them a plus one. Consider who they might bring – someone you know? A random person they met on Tinder just to bring to your wedding? If you already know their significant other and aren’t worried about how she/he will act, that should be good! If you are however, concerned about how a guest of an ex will act, maybe avoid inviting them.
How will you introduce them?
Think about how you’ll introduce your ex to family members. If you’re not uncomfortable with the “Hey Grandma, this is my…friend,” then there shouldn’t be a problem! However, if the idea of introducing an ex to friends or family, or your fiance’s friends or family, makes you a little uncomfortable, this could be a reason not to invite them.